January was an eye opening month for me. I used to dread it, with the dreary days and post-holiday letdown. That was of course before two boys kept me running like a madwoman, and I committed myself to so many things that I love but drain me. Now I see it as a time of refresh, a little bit slower, and a time to re-prioritize and reorganize. As I take a breath, I'm better able to hear God it seems, and better able to reassess.
So back to those eye opening moments that led to these thoughts.
1. Just because I'm doing good things, doesn't mean I'm doing the right things, or even doing things for the right reasons. Drop decisions through the filter of what I believe I should be doing, and things become a bit more clear. Drop things through the filter of the attitude with which I'm doing them, and well.... you just see that I may just need to change my attitude. Often true.
2. God loves me and that's crazy. This isn't exactly a new revelation, but I was blown away by it recently. With all He is, and all He does, and all He could find fault with in me, He loves me anyway. And when you have that type of love, you have to do crazy things for Him in return. Trying to figure out what those crazy things are though keeping in mind #1.
3. God is preparing me for many things- they may all be small. Or they could be huge. I should be ready regardless, because He is using me here and now no matter what. And I'm not taking care of myself nearly as well as He is. So last week I committed to daily exercise to improve my health. And I'm loving the daily time alone with Him. I don't love waking up early to do it while the boys are in bed, but each morning is a reminder to be thankful for so much, including that I can wake up.
It's all a work in progress, I don't think any of us will ever be anything else. Isn't it crazy that God loves us no matter where we are in that work?
p.s. The slower pace is already changing from when I first wrote this two days ago. Glad I organized my thoughts to help me as the pace quickens!